Portrait of two female friends in casual sportswear outdoors.


Once we get out of school, it becomes much harder to make friends. We’re so busy with work, family, caregiving, volunteering, and many other activities. Taking the time to get to know someone seems impossible.

Then you meet someone who with whom you have things in common. You think, “This might be a nice person to get to know.” What do you do?

First of all, realize that you don’t need to be looking for a BFF. You are beyond the period where one person will meet your every friendship need. This might be a person you can go to lunch with once a month, or maybe someone you can ask to join you on your daily walk.

We’ve probably all had the conversation that includes the statement, “Let’s get together sometime.” The next time you, or the other person says that, counter with something more concrete. Suggest a day, time and activity such as coffee, lunch or a walk.

If you throw out a date, you can start negotiating for calendar space. Maybe Monday mornings aren’t good for you and Tuesday afternoons aren’t good for them, but you both take a walk on Saturday morning at 7:30! Go together and see what develops.

Yes, you need to put yourself out there a little bit. If you’re really concerned about actually talking to the person, extend an invitation in an email or text. It really isn’t that hard and the result may be very rewarding!

So, are you free for coffee next Thursday at 11:00?


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