I am sorry I have been absent for some weeks – I am sorry I have not been as prolific as usual. Life happens, things get in the way….well….hmmm….. I do hope somebody missed me .
A day or so ago, I wrote on Face Book that I was feeling sad. Just that. One statement. “I feel sad”….3 little words … and I received so many lovely and supportive words from friends and colleagues saying that “this too shall pass” and that I was such a comfort and a wonderful caregiver and daughter to my parents….So my statement of sadness was interpreted as mourning the loss of my parents and my brother – those who have died and moved on leaving me here, alone, feeling sad.
Well, the fact is that I just felt plain old sad. Not because I am approaching the anniversary of my mom’s passing, which is the most recent and still the most raw, in a sense, but it was just a bad old day and I woke up and could not start the day with all kinds of happy and encouraging words on this new wonderful and invasive thing called social media. In the old days (dare I date myself) you had two choices – to answer the phone or not – and to answer the doorbell or not. Nowadays we are almost stripped naked on a daily basis when we partake in social media – whether it be Face Book, Twitter, MySpace –or things I do not even know about yet – phones and apps – soon I think people will know where you are and what you are doing just from your phone – because it will be like a GPS. I would like to go to the Ladies Room in private, thank you.….
So, my word to caregivers is – It is OK to just feel bad or sad sometimes. Just decide if you want to put it out there for everyone to see, or read. Some days, or feelings, are best left private, when we stay in our pajamas, make sure whomever we are caring for are well attended to and can stay in their ‘jammies too if they want, just make sure all medications are taken and food is provided and eaten. Maybe this is the day to watch a great old movie together, laugh or cry together, eat cereal for dinner if you want, tuck your loved one in and call it a day. For tomorrow blooms fresh and you will awake and say – I am ready to take on the world and you know what? I even think I heard the birds tweeting – so maybe that damn groundhog was right and spring is on its way and I feel a spring coming back into my step. And all the power to you, because every day is an adventure and a challenge and you are blessed for taking it on every day…. ……”
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