I found this on an old piece of paper stuffed in one of my planners. I’m pretty sure it was one of those emails people circulated back in the days before Facebook. I don’t know who wrote it but I love the message so thought I would post it here so as not to lose it again. Although I think it was written for a younger woman, much of it may apply again to the midlife woman.

Every Woman Should Have

  1. One old boyfriend she can imagine going back to and one who reminds her of how far she’s come.
  2. Enough money within her control to move and rent a place on her own, even if she never wants or needs to.
  3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
  4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella she’s not ashamed to be seen carrying.
  5. A youth she’s content to move beyond.
  6. A past that is juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
  7. The realization that she is actually going to have an old age some money set aside to help fund it. (I know many of us born in the baby boom generation are worried about this one.)
  8. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
  9. One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry.
  10. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.
  11. Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a聽 meal that will make her guests feel honored. (This tends to revolve as dishes and wine glasses get broken, but you have no idea how many times I’ve been to dinner at a friend’s house who barely has 2 matching wine glasses, let alone 6 or 8.)
  12. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
  13. A feeling of control over her destiny.
  14. A skincare regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. (I wonder what those other facets are though!)
  15. A solid start to a satisfying (second) career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.


  1. How to fall in love without losing herself.
  2. How she feels about having kids (too late for us!)
  3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
  4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
  5. How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what she would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
  6. How to have a good time at a party she’d never choose to attend.
  7. How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she will get it.
  8. That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips or the nature of her parents.
  9. That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
  10. What she would and would NOT do for love.
  11. How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it.
  12. Who she can trust, who she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.
  13. Where to go – be it her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing.
  14. What she can and can’t accomplish in a day a month, and a year. (I’m still learning this.)
  15. Why they say “life begins at 30″… or maybe 50 馃檪

What else would you add to these two lists?聽 What has been your strongest and weakest points?


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